Poetry like this requires a better understanding and commanding of the language that I'm afraid the author hasn't quite mastered yet. The first game had the right balance between prose and readability and I would personally prefer a return to that.
Right now, it feels like the author is trying too hard to be "deep" and the end result is just complete gibberish. There is a difference between something "sounding right" in your head because you possess the insight and context of what you're trying to convey, and expecting your readers to do the same.
As it stands, the most we can do here is appreciate the art, which is lovely, but that alone does not make a game. the universe and lore are right up my alley, as i love dark fantasies and this kind of romance, but it still needs a lot of work. Still, if the author managed once they can do it again. I look forward to that day.
Thank you so plenty for your thoughts concluded and shared - indeed, there is lasting, delicate admission of process and learning laid furthermore, by gentle heart I'd thought of project as continuously developed - by one side or of other furthermore.
And - it is yet warm to hear that themes and setting came gentle to your fulfillment, there is variety of an extension to story coming, hopefully, onward. I'm looking forward softly, too, as well<з
Thank you - there is a gentle thought for more extended part within creation added to the chapters further, both dispositioned in conditioned pieces of wardrobe and Archone's features as withal!<зз
Oh, how much have changed and not at the same time! I love this story, loved it from the times of the first Secunda, but I admit I struggle so much with prose of it sometimes, similar to what biohazardblade said. This is not a criticism, because it's your work and if you wish to write it this way you totally should. I'll still enjoy it. But I share the hope of more simple alternative, maybe as a toggle or a choice at the start. But I understand if you don't want to do this. it's a ton of work, basically rewriting the whole story.
On the other note, it's insane how your art improved, I'm in awe.
Apologies for such extended waiting - time was at loss, and yet!
Thank you so plenty! Both for the gentleness and for concluded words towards the prose - indeed, there is a long, extended disposition onward to smooth and ease it tenderly. By current moment, with the oncoming chapter both there is rewritten prologue - and edited chapter that was first, till further moment of a waiting<з
It is a delicate and gentle journey, within my hopes is to improve and possibly rewrite, consider new and edit chapters as they go - just as alike to current moment~
"Went stale" (as in "boring", "uneventful" - in motion immovable, in purpose small, being uninteresting to quite their own self) pictured Archone going rigid and flat on their back after the sudden impact, but they are moreso ponder over sky, think about the encounter and prepare for the road back home rather than have any physical troubles~
In the same way Tenir took them upwards he sent them back down, just with lesser delicateness - no one is attempting at murder *yet* ;з
They're just resting on the snow and are very dramatic about it, please don't mind them o/////o
Okay, absolutely stunning visuals and beautiful poetry, but if you want people to understand what's going on in your game, perhaps a more simple worded description alternative is needed? I fear anyone who may not be familiar with prose of this magnitude or have english as their second language may struggle to understand what they maybe playing. I luckily understood it, but even then I had to read it over a few times to confirm what I thought was being conveyed here.
Indeed, recently narration within the most-fluid lines was rewritten to come smoother and more delicate to read - along there might be further revisions towards it as development goes by, as well as eased softly language in the future chapters as they are~
But also, for a gentle notion - together with those current changes, some files in the game came also compressed additionally, reducing size of it notably, for further adding accessibility!<з
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Poetry like this requires a better understanding and commanding of the language that I'm afraid the author hasn't quite mastered yet. The first game had the right balance between prose and readability and I would personally prefer a return to that.
Right now, it feels like the author is trying too hard to be "deep" and the end result is just complete gibberish. There is a difference between something "sounding right" in your head because you possess the insight and context of what you're trying to convey, and expecting your readers to do the same.
As it stands, the most we can do here is appreciate the art, which is lovely, but that alone does not make a game. the universe and lore are right up my alley, as i love dark fantasies and this kind of romance, but it still needs a lot of work. Still, if the author managed once they can do it again. I look forward to that day.
Hello!<з
Thank you so plenty for your thoughts concluded and shared - indeed, there is lasting, delicate admission of process and learning laid furthermore, by gentle heart I'd thought of project as continuously developed - by one side or of other furthermore.
And - it is yet warm to hear that themes and setting came gentle to your fulfillment, there is variety of an extension to story coming, hopefully, onward. I'm looking forward softly, too, as well<з
still don't understand the dialogue but the art is even more impressive than before, also love that the archon has a sprite now
Hello!
Thank you - there is a gentle thought for more extended part within creation added to the chapters further, both dispositioned in conditioned pieces of wardrobe and Archone's features as withal!<зз
Oh, how much have changed and not at the same time! I love this story, loved it from the times of the first Secunda, but I admit I struggle so much with prose of it sometimes, similar to what biohazardblade said. This is not a criticism, because it's your work and if you wish to write it this way you totally should. I'll still enjoy it. But I share the hope of more simple alternative, maybe as a toggle or a choice at the start. But I understand if you don't want to do this. it's a ton of work, basically rewriting the whole story.
On the other note, it's insane how your art improved, I'm in awe.
Adored!<з
Apologies for such extended waiting - time was at loss, and yet!
Thank you so plenty! Both for the gentleness and for concluded words towards the prose - indeed, there is a long, extended disposition onward to smooth and ease it tenderly. By current moment, with the oncoming chapter both there is rewritten prologue - and edited chapter that was first, till further moment of a waiting<з
It is a delicate and gentle journey, within my hopes is to improve and possibly rewrite, consider new and edit chapters as they go - just as alike to current moment~
Thank you, mistful sun, ever so onward!<з
I had no idea what was going on for this entire game but i still loved it!!! i have no idea what "went stale" means...im just gonna assume i died??
Thank you!<зз
"Went stale" (as in "boring", "uneventful" - in motion immovable, in purpose small, being uninteresting to quite their own self) pictured Archone going rigid and flat on their back after the sudden impact, but they are moreso ponder over sky, think about the encounter and prepare for the road back home rather than have any physical troubles~
In the same way Tenir took them upwards he sent them back down, just with lesser delicateness - no one is attempting at murder *yet* ;з
They're just resting on the snow and are very dramatic about it, please don't mind them o/////o
Okay, absolutely stunning visuals and beautiful poetry, but if you want people to understand what's going on in your game, perhaps a more simple worded description alternative is needed? I fear anyone who may not be familiar with prose of this magnitude or have english as their second language may struggle to understand what they maybe playing. I luckily understood it, but even then I had to read it over a few times to confirm what I thought was being conveyed here.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!<з
Indeed, recently narration within the most-fluid lines was rewritten to come smoother and more delicate to read - along there might be further revisions towards it as development goes by, as well as eased softly language in the future chapters as they are~
But also, for a gentle notion - together with those current changes, some files in the game came also compressed additionally, reducing size of it notably, for further adding accessibility!<з
so so excited for this one! love the writing and the atmosphere, this is a perfect example of the kinda gothic tale I love! <3
Thank you so much, adored!<зз